My partner doesn’t like me training. What can I do?

Written by Vicky Beckett, Tuesday 6th August 2024

You and your partner should support each other in all of your hobbies and passions, right? But what happens when someone you love isn’t cool with how much jujitsu you’re doing? Maybe they just feel like they’re missing out on spending quality time with you when you’re on the mats. Perhaps they find it hard to work around your training and diet regime in the run-up to a competition. Jealousy can creep in if they think you’re rolling with attractive training partners who share your passion too. 

My first instinct is to tell them where to go, but the longer I’m in jujitsu, the more I’ve seen this play out. A female white belt I hadn’t seen training for a while confided in me that her new partner doesn’t really like her training. A male BJJ friend told me he would never let his partner train as she would be hit on by too many guys in his gym. Maybe this sounds insecure, but let’s not forget that even Tom Brady is rumoured to have lost his wife Gisele Bündchen to her BJJ coach. And, I was once chatting to a new white belt man who only trains in gi. I told him I prefer no gi, and he looked concerned and asked: “But what happens if a guy grabs your ass while you’re rolling?”